Four or Five Eye Jobs

Four or Five Eye Jobs

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The phone call I got from ABC’s Nightline earlier this month wasn’t the first time a television producer had contacted me asking if I would provide my take on cosmetic eyelid surgery for Asians.

I never asked to be a spokesperson on the topic but I’m pretty sure it started in 2004. A reporter who was writing about the subject called the home office/garage where Giant Robot magazine was being made and was looking for quotes. I used juicy terms like “self-mutilation” and “heartbreaking.” You can read the article at womensenews.org.

After a long weekend in 2008, I played back a message on my answering machine from a producer on the Tyra Banks TV show who wanted me to talk about Asian eye jobs. The decision to appear wasn’t a slam-dunk. I was worried about coming off like a macho jerk telling grown women what to do. After some thought, I decided to go for it. At best, I’d come across as intelligent and help promote our tiny magazine. At worst, there would be hair pulling and chair throwing but a great story to tell.

The actual experience was somewhere in between. It was awkward being in the same green room as the subject of the segment and her plastic surgeon. They didn’t know that it was my task to say that cutting up her naturally Asian appearance gave a message that the Western look was superior. I think Tyra was rougher on the subject than she expected, and I told her that she looked great and did a great job before leaving.

Unlike me, I’m pretty sure the other two got paid to appear on the show and I recall them giving head shots to the assistants to pass along to Tyra. Yes, the super model looked stellar. The whole segment happened so fast that there was no time for her to say hi to guests, thank them, or get a picture taken. Oh well.

After the segment aired, I remember the more political members of the Asian zine community trashing my appearance on the show. GR was glossier, bigger, and more pop culture oriented, so a lot of them thought we were encouraging fetishism or selling out. That hurt, but it turns out those comments were nothing compared to what Tyra gets on YouTube. Yikes!

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I was asked to be on Dr. Phil’s show just a year later and said, “Sure.” It wasn’t that different but they framed the cosmetic surgery on pragmatic aspects. Does the double-fold eyelid make a person look smarter? More alert? Can it help one’s grades, career, or love life? My response was that self-confidence is great but the surgery still gives a message that an Asian appearance is inferior to a more Western one.

I actually don’t remember too much about the taping except that when Dr. Phil thanked us guests and shook our hands, he had gigantic, baseball glove-sized mitts. The plastic surgeon has shared the video to promote his business and you can see it on YouTube.

CNN contacted me in 2011, and had a more international perspective than Tyra or Dr. Phil. They were profiling a 12-year-old girl in South Korea who was about to get an eye job, and asked if I’d go to the CNN headquarters for an interview by Skype. The magazine had just bit the dust after 16 years, but why not? I’d be right next door to Amoeba Records!

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That time, I talked about cultural imperialism. That sucks, but even more problematic is the idea of performing cosmetic surgery on children. How can a pre-teen make that kind of decision? That’s depressing and disturbing. And it’s happening more than ever.

So when Nightline called years later, I was over it. There was no magazine to promote and what else could I say? Why couldn’t they find a celebrity or academic with more authority than me–a guy who was never a “real” journalist to begin with? Or at least find a woman to make a comment on the subjects who are always female although they could profile dudes that get the surgery as well.

The producer insisted that she needed my take for her story, and kept following up after I couldn’t say no. When I was driving around and not answering my phone, she tracked down my mom and dad’s phone number and called them, too! So I acquiesced. A cameraman was sent to my house that afternoon and we did the interview over speakerphone in my own backyard.

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It turns out the subject of the segment was an African American woman getting a nose job and swearing she doesn’t have Michael Jackson Syndrome. I don’t think my quote about Asian eye jobs was a perfect fit for the story but it is flattering to be wanted.

I think it’s sad that the phenomenon of Asians cutting up their faces to look the same as everyone else is more rampant than ever, that the news story keeps running over and over, and that I’ve been called so many times to give my spiel. The latter is probably because I’ve never asked for money. But cultural imperialism, the beauty myth, self-loathing–shouldn’t someone in Hollywood make a stand against that sort of thing? Most likely no one in showbiz wants to piss off the talent, and in the meantime I’m just getting older and more haggard each time I get the call.

Maybe I could benefit from a little surgery?

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